2010, Day 356 - Phuket, Day Two

Brad and Manuel got up bright and early this morning to go scuba diving so they ate a hurried breakfast and then ran out the door. I, on the other hand, had nothing planned but was asked to try to get us a reservation to see a ladyboy show this evening. It was a simple matter of going to the front desk and asking them about it, their response was to make all the arrangements for us so a short time later as I was catching up on my emails and world events I got a call saying that it had all been arranged.


I made friends with this Kermit on my way back from breakfast.

With that monumental task out of the way I was able to relax at the resort reading and wasting time as our reservation wasn't until six o'clock. After a few hours of nothing productive I decided to make my way to Patong, the area near the cabaret. A short hour later I was in the crowds of the beachfront tourist mecca. It was all rather disgusting, lots of dirty shops selling the same tourist rubbish, cheap tailors trying to convince you to buy suit, seedy looking women offering "happy ending" massages that won't take no for an answer, and loads of bars.

Wading through that quagmire of filth and obscenity was no mean feat but I eventually found a respectable looking Indian restaurant. There weren't many people dining in the middle of the afternoon so I got a significant amount of their attention while I hide from the denizens of the street. It turned out to be a very nice meal and around Phuket I have found it difficult to locate food without any sort of animal protein. That's not necessarily a problem because I do eat fish but I can getting awfully tired of picking bones out of my meal so this was a refreshing change of pace.


Every one of those covered areas is a different bar and they literally line the streets of Patong.


One of probably dozens of tailors.


And many many kind of dirty and uninspired looking tattoo shops.


I find the men wearing balaclavas while working to be slighting disturbing.


When I finished my lunch I discovered, to my disappointment, that there was still a couple hours before the show but with nothing better to do I made my way to the theatre. Fortunately there was a convenience store on the way so I got a litre and a half bottle of water (for the typical 14 baht or something slightly less than fifty cents) and then found a bench to read my book out of the sun while gradually rehydrating myself.

It took less than half an hour to complete the book I was reading but fortunately my Kindle is the 3G version which means that I can purchase a new book wirelessly over the existing cellular network for no more than the actual price of the book. So armed I purchased and downloaded another book and made good headway there before wandering into the theatre to wait for Brad and Manuel.

Shortly thereafter the aforementioned duo wandered in off the street and we had only moments to wait until we were allowed to go to our seats. While waiting for the show to start Brad declared that he has learned something today, when I inquired what it was he learned he replied "That I don't like scuba diving." I told him that I thought the weather wasn't conducive to a good experience but he apparently found it all rather overwhelming to which I assured him that after going through the certification procedures where you are in a more controlled environment and are afforded the opportunity to get accustomed to the equipment and the entire experience isn't novel it is a lot more fun and significantly less stressful.

Our conversation came to a close when a gong sounded to let us know the show was about to start. It was a little less outrageous than I would have liked and sometimes it seemed like the cast lacked a bit of enthusiasm, which can probably be attributed to three shows per day every day of the year, but it was otherwise quite entertaining.


This was the "Barbie Girl," I enjoyed her missing teeth and enormous breasts which she couldn't keep her hands off of. At one point she left the stage to molest men in the crowd. I think Dad would have enjoyed that...


I believe she was singing a Chinese song, it sounded Chinese and there was huge applause from the audience. At one point they performed a Hindi song and the big Indian guy three seats away began really rocking out in his seat!


And what sort of cabaret would be complete without a Lady Gaga song?


More Ladyboy Gaga.


And Cleopatra.


And who could forget "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor?

Once the show ended we found a nearby place to eat after which Brad and I returned to the quiet refuge of our resort while Manuel stayed later in Patong determined to enjoy the nightlife. Good luck to him!